I know I don't necessarily identify outside of the binary, but you've humanized it in a way I haven't felt before. Your whole vibe even before top surgery gives masc and I think that will only shine through more as you go on your journey! I love the energy you put into this world. Thank you for also including Elisa for their sacrifice for our community! Wonderful article and thank you for it!
MY DARLING. “I wanted to be with men like gay men were with each other.” We said these exact words. We are a gay man. Of a certain type though. Not all gay men are created equal. 🤬 Non conforming since birth. Tomboy. Dyke. Non Binary. Or more accurately, Singular Binary. What is a “man” “woman”? I don’t want make up and clothes to dominate my thoughts and behaviors. Our thoughts and behaviors align with Queer identity. The single word alone enough of an explanation. neuroQueer. Neurodivergent. More “fitting in” skills! 🤪🫠💥 We stand out as we crave closeness. We hold out our arms and hands in support and love and are rejected outright. I seriously question our sanity at times bc we keep reaching out no matter how many times we are rebuffed ignored rejected. “This person may get us.” only two humans communicate voluntarily with us daily? We live with one. Neither are blood related. Family ignores tolerates leaves alone the weird one. We live with our dad. He never seeks out our company. Not anymore. Not for a long time now. We see you Zero. Our ears are open. Our arms and heart are open. Lean on us if needed. Stay as long as you like. 💜🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️
Thank you for this piece, Zero. What’s happening with erasure is horrific, Stalin-esque. But the government transphobes can’t turn back the clock. And remember that when the haters come out — and to them, harassing people is a game—-you have many allies sending loving positive vibes your way.
I’m a new nonbinary because I finally have the freedom and space to figure out what I am. Reading this touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Being shoved into a box that you don’t fit in strips away pieces of the soul. But finding ourselves, finding our people…it brings the soul back together. 🖤
I have no words except do what is right for you. People have no right to dictate to others who or what they are including parents. People are people regardless of gender identity; ethnicity; or color of skin. 💪
What frightens me most is that people shrug off injustice if it isn’t a problem for their “tribe” (and do even worse at times, joining injustice). I am glad you found you, and the courage to be you, young. Don’t give it up. Church and family made me choose to live as an obedient wife, and I realized that loving a husband meant he shouldn’t have to spend his life with someone who had sex with him out of duty rather than interest.
Thank you for sharing this. As the mother of a trans woman, as a friend with many mom friends with trans kids, I am terrified for you all. I can’t say that I understand, but I have witnessed how people who own this reality for themselves blossom in its expression. Much love to you, from afar.
Hey Zero! :) You know, being scared can be a pretty good indicator that you're on target! ;) Not always, for sure; but if you're just like "can't wait till my top surgery" but still kinda iffy on the 'mones, just KIM the hormones are temporary, if you don't feel right on them. I just learned that HRT is a good way to test the waters, so to speak (thanks to your post on Elisa, i did some link exploring - and ended up reading about their therapist, who recommended that very thing to see if the dysphoria is alleviated - since stopping the HRT lets you return to baseline w/out perm changes). I'm a bit older, and only started transitioning about 3 years ago - so i'll def throw out the "don't wait!!!" Shit, i didn't even start questioning , and educating myself until a year before that, and i'm soooo stoked to have my first 2 surgery dates locked in already (BA and FFS). Thank you so much for sharing so much of youself, it resonates a lot with me. I feel horrible for our service members - i'm civvy myself, but was in close with the community stateside - that feeling of straight betrayal from above sickens me... i'm still mourning the loss of nation i thought we had... i knew there were toxic mfr's everywhere, but to see it all actualized, and so blatently.... Thank you so much for your service, and for your sharing. When it comes down to it, i guess we can at the least hope to die with our boots on ;) - Vi (she/her)💜🏳️⚧️🏴☠️
As a basically straight white cisgender man my major connection to you, especially my appreciation and thankfulness for being able to say I know who you are and reading your work is in alot of ways empathetic in nature, I do in a way understand the feeling of trying to connect with your family or someone you’re biologically “supposed” to be able to trust and realizing in that moment they may not ever be able to grapple with the thing you’re attempting to share, mine was completely different in that you’re just trying to honestly be yourself but I just wanna say thank you and I love you
💙 Wow Zero, you’ve read my mind from so far… I think I’m going the opposite direction on the trans highway but I value your feelings… I’m building my “check-in list” now I’d like to add you if you don’t mind… just to regularly check in and see if everything is okay at least in the moment…
"Growing up I was really bad at being a girl. It was something everybody always made a point of acknowledging." Everything you said makes sense. I don't understand non-binary thinking necessarily, but that's a ME problem and I recognized it. Nobody owes me an explanation like I don't owe THEM an explanation for being trans...and why be so shocked if you knew I was bad at being a girl anyway? 😉
Thank you for sharing your journey. The timing does suck. I've only been out a few years myself and am now 40. I feel like I wasted so much time being who others wanted me to be, that I got a late start. My son reminds me (he's 17 now) almost daily that it was the day I decided to embrace ME that our relationship became deeper. It's hard for me to understand the hate that others feel for our existence and I'm glad it's hard - I want nothing to do with those folks and more to do with those who carry love and empathy and beauty...and the occasional fart joke. 💞
I know I don't necessarily identify outside of the binary, but you've humanized it in a way I haven't felt before. Your whole vibe even before top surgery gives masc and I think that will only shine through more as you go on your journey! I love the energy you put into this world. Thank you for also including Elisa for their sacrifice for our community! Wonderful article and thank you for it!
MY DARLING. “I wanted to be with men like gay men were with each other.” We said these exact words. We are a gay man. Of a certain type though. Not all gay men are created equal. 🤬 Non conforming since birth. Tomboy. Dyke. Non Binary. Or more accurately, Singular Binary. What is a “man” “woman”? I don’t want make up and clothes to dominate my thoughts and behaviors. Our thoughts and behaviors align with Queer identity. The single word alone enough of an explanation. neuroQueer. Neurodivergent. More “fitting in” skills! 🤪🫠💥 We stand out as we crave closeness. We hold out our arms and hands in support and love and are rejected outright. I seriously question our sanity at times bc we keep reaching out no matter how many times we are rebuffed ignored rejected. “This person may get us.” only two humans communicate voluntarily with us daily? We live with one. Neither are blood related. Family ignores tolerates leaves alone the weird one. We live with our dad. He never seeks out our company. Not anymore. Not for a long time now. We see you Zero. Our ears are open. Our arms and heart are open. Lean on us if needed. Stay as long as you like. 💜🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️
Thank you for this piece, Zero. What’s happening with erasure is horrific, Stalin-esque. But the government transphobes can’t turn back the clock. And remember that when the haters come out — and to them, harassing people is a game—-you have many allies sending loving positive vibes your way.
I’m a new nonbinary because I finally have the freedom and space to figure out what I am. Reading this touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. Being shoved into a box that you don’t fit in strips away pieces of the soul. But finding ourselves, finding our people…it brings the soul back together. 🖤
I have no words except do what is right for you. People have no right to dictate to others who or what they are including parents. People are people regardless of gender identity; ethnicity; or color of skin. 💪
What frightens me most is that people shrug off injustice if it isn’t a problem for their “tribe” (and do even worse at times, joining injustice). I am glad you found you, and the courage to be you, young. Don’t give it up. Church and family made me choose to live as an obedient wife, and I realized that loving a husband meant he shouldn’t have to spend his life with someone who had sex with him out of duty rather than interest.
Thank you for sharing this. As the mother of a trans woman, as a friend with many mom friends with trans kids, I am terrified for you all. I can’t say that I understand, but I have witnessed how people who own this reality for themselves blossom in its expression. Much love to you, from afar.
I see you
Hey Zero! :) You know, being scared can be a pretty good indicator that you're on target! ;) Not always, for sure; but if you're just like "can't wait till my top surgery" but still kinda iffy on the 'mones, just KIM the hormones are temporary, if you don't feel right on them. I just learned that HRT is a good way to test the waters, so to speak (thanks to your post on Elisa, i did some link exploring - and ended up reading about their therapist, who recommended that very thing to see if the dysphoria is alleviated - since stopping the HRT lets you return to baseline w/out perm changes). I'm a bit older, and only started transitioning about 3 years ago - so i'll def throw out the "don't wait!!!" Shit, i didn't even start questioning , and educating myself until a year before that, and i'm soooo stoked to have my first 2 surgery dates locked in already (BA and FFS). Thank you so much for sharing so much of youself, it resonates a lot with me. I feel horrible for our service members - i'm civvy myself, but was in close with the community stateside - that feeling of straight betrayal from above sickens me... i'm still mourning the loss of nation i thought we had... i knew there were toxic mfr's everywhere, but to see it all actualized, and so blatently.... Thank you so much for your service, and for your sharing. When it comes down to it, i guess we can at the least hope to die with our boots on ;) - Vi (she/her)💜🏳️⚧️🏴☠️
THIS! this is how gender feels to me.
As a basically straight white cisgender man my major connection to you, especially my appreciation and thankfulness for being able to say I know who you are and reading your work is in alot of ways empathetic in nature, I do in a way understand the feeling of trying to connect with your family or someone you’re biologically “supposed” to be able to trust and realizing in that moment they may not ever be able to grapple with the thing you’re attempting to share, mine was completely different in that you’re just trying to honestly be yourself but I just wanna say thank you and I love you
💙 Wow Zero, you’ve read my mind from so far… I think I’m going the opposite direction on the trans highway but I value your feelings… I’m building my “check-in list” now I’d like to add you if you don’t mind… just to regularly check in and see if everything is okay at least in the moment…
Thank you so much for posting this 🫂
"Growing up I was really bad at being a girl. It was something everybody always made a point of acknowledging." Everything you said makes sense. I don't understand non-binary thinking necessarily, but that's a ME problem and I recognized it. Nobody owes me an explanation like I don't owe THEM an explanation for being trans...and why be so shocked if you knew I was bad at being a girl anyway? 😉
Thank you for sharing your journey. The timing does suck. I've only been out a few years myself and am now 40. I feel like I wasted so much time being who others wanted me to be, that I got a late start. My son reminds me (he's 17 now) almost daily that it was the day I decided to embrace ME that our relationship became deeper. It's hard for me to understand the hate that others feel for our existence and I'm glad it's hard - I want nothing to do with those folks and more to do with those who carry love and empathy and beauty...and the occasional fart joke. 💞